So I am back in cold cold Germany. My students all insist that it is not THAT cold. However I just got back from the beach. It is freaking cold. Cold and panic inducing. Where is my buffet full of magical foods with dishes I do not have to clean. Where are my 10 am Pina Coladas? Why am I 10 pounds heavier and with a distinct craving for a buzz by 2 pm? One of the last words from my parents before departure was an announcement that after 2 weeks of all inclusive beach vacation we are going to meet the next time at Jenny Craig’s or Betty Ford’s.
But what they really meant was jail! Slugging my way off the plane (swearing to go to the gym and follow a diet that involves all food groups instead of just the delicious deep fried ones) I enter passport control to a daze. My dreamy sugar glazed eyes were quickly whipped back into clarity as I tasted exactly what was in my stomach. The guard had just announced my Visa was invalid.
All the stress relief of the previous 2 weeks vanished. I fought, the border guy fought, another guy joined in on my side, and finally they did what he could have done before making me lose the weight due to sheer fright – he checked the system. Where I am registered legally to live and work in Germany, and he waved me through with a shrug of his shoulders as if to say whoops. My legs barely carried me, which is a lucky thing, otherwise a fine demonstrations of dropkicks to back up that throat punch would have followed!